I ask you! What did you think of Tiger Woods’ infomercial Friday morning? Clearly, the man is a robot. The only emotions displayed by this arrogant  philanderer was when  he made an obvious attempt to keep women -- the interest group he has most offended -- front and center, including his mother and two eye-dabbing female employees . Even with his dented image, the story of Tiger Woods on Friday was a choreographed yarn being spun by the planet's best image makers and brand managers. Simply put, it didn’t work.

Speaking of robots, I am reminded of the lyrics of a song penned by ex Styx front man Dennis DeYoung back in 1983. Mr. Roboto.

You're wondering who I am
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
Machine or mannequin
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
With parts made in Thailand
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
I am the modern man

I've got a secret, I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling
My brain I.B.M., so if you see me
Acting strangely, don't be surprised

I'm just a man who needed someone
And somewhere to hide
To keep me alive, just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions
I'm not what you see
I've come to help you
With your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a savior
Forget what you know

I'm just a man whose circumstances
Went beyond his control
Beyond my control, we all need control
I need control, we all need control

I am the modern man
(Secret, secret I've got a secret)
Who hides behind a mask
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
So no one else can see
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
My true identity


Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs that nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape

Just when I needed to
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I want to thank you
Please, thank you, oh

The problem's plain to see
Too much technology
Machines to save our lives
Machines, de-humanize

The time has come at last
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
To throw away this mask
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
Now everyone can see
(Secret, secret, I've got a secret)
My true identity, I'm phony, phony, phony, phony.